I used to live day by day trying to think of something new in creative arts. I could never relax and was always exhausted.
Doing artistic creative work was so tiring and gruelling but thanks to John from RealHardwareReviews.com I practised and drawing was almost routine. But again and again I was not happy. Arts or graphic design was too subjective and I wanted to always improve on it to a point of OCD.
Jokes: Later I found YouTube tutorials helped my art. It gave me a baseline to work with.
When I got to learning programming at college, I was scared and upset. It was hard and I did not think I was ready still to comprehend such work.
After some classes during 2nd semester, one teacher at Durham College said something so profound to the class. He said “AI (Artificial Intelligence) is just a bunch of if statements“. That gave me the clarity I needed.
I was thinking hard all the time. I could not escape the thinking that I had to be complicated and sophisticated. Like I thought complexity was the ultimate goal and form.
When I tried computer science at university I was not ready. It was too much theory and students and teachers were really dedicated and I was not. I could not find my grip. Everyone I met at university was negative and I made no connections there in computer science at school.
After years of working odd jobs, I decided that all that was left was ‘creation’: creating software. I experienced enough in the outside world and came to that conclusion.
I struggled finding people to work and think like me outside in everyday life. I found connections in computer programming at Durham College. Computer people are glued to their computer kinda like me. I am mostly still a technician and artist and I strive to be a programmer like I wished when I was younger.
Conclusion: Computer programming is something else. Once you understand the fundamentals everything more is quite easy to grasp. Everything is found online and all you need to do is search (Stackoverflow and “Documentation“). I find my days with lots of time now enjoying life. All I need to do is just do online video courses on Udemy to learn something more casually.
Wrap-up: There is a point in your adult life where everything gets obtainable if you try I think. You get enough experiences to manage to obtain things and that negative voice in your head goes away. Then you get to meet older people who just want to do the same and become friends. My circle of friends is large now. I always have some people to talk to which I am grateful for.